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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23873116">haikyuu oneshots</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/equinnoxious/pseuds/equinnoxious'>equinnoxious</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Fluff, Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:35:44</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,443</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23873116</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/equinnoxious/pseuds/equinnoxious</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>short scenarios that i post to <a href="https://handsoffmyfriends.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p><p>tags will update as more content is created</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bokuto Koutarou &amp; Reader, Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader, Nishinoya Yuu/Reader, Tsukishima Kei/Reader, implied bokuto/akaashi - Relationship, implied kenma/hinata - Relationship, implied tsukishima/yamaguchi - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Bad Ending - Tsuki x Reader</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>— you’ve been acting strange lately. you’ve been trying to keep it together so as not to bother your boyfriend, tsukishima kei, but it all comes to a head during one volleyball practice.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tsukishima was worried about you. You hadn’t been yourself the past few days and he was starting to get concerned. It wasn’t like you were shutting him out or not watching him practice like usual, you were still doing all the normal things you did. There was just something... off about you, something he couldn’t place.</p><p>Something was clearly bothering you, but every time he asked how you were, you shot him with that gorgeous smile that he fell in love with. You would say everything was fine with him around, then try and give him a kiss on the cheek, but you were way too short to manage it on your own. It never failed to make him blush with embarrassment at how cheesy you were, but he secretly loved it. He would just never admit to it, but you knew. </p><p>It came to a peak one day during volleyball practice. You weren’t in a club of your own so you often came by the gym to watch the team practice. You’d usually help out however you could, whether it was running around to collect all the lost volleyballs or helping Kiyoko out as an extra set of hands. </p><p>Today, you didn’t help out. Which was fine, it wasn’t like you were actually part of the volleyball club, so you weren’t obligated to actually help out. Usually it was because you had extra study material to go over. You would be spread out on the second level, far away from stray volleyballs, nose deep in papers and knowledge. The way you could block out all the noise going on around you honestly impressed him. </p><p>Except, you weren’t studying. You had your nose buried deep in your phone and you looked absolutely miserable. It broke Tsuki’s heart, but he couldn’t just stop training to talk to you. Coach Ukai had made it very clear that your presence was more than welcome if you didn’t disturb practice. </p><p>It was a painfully long practice session, even if it didn’t run any longer than usual. Just knowing you were so close, looking so upset, made it that much harder for Tsuki to focus. No one else seemed to notice your despair. He couldn’t decide if he was relieved or pissed off about that. </p><p>By the time Coach called an end to practice, you had already scaled the ladder back down to the ground level. Tsuki was on you in an instant, not caring that his teammates were still around and probably watching your entire interaction. His hands were holding your face so tenderly, his expression so full of concern as he asked you what was wrong.</p><p>You didn’t give him the usual bright smile, nor did you say everything was fine. The tears that glazed your eyes finally spilled out, falling sluggishly down your pretty face. He rubbed them away with careful sweeps of his thumb as his heart broke even more at the sight of you so utterly distraught. </p><p>“I—” you started with a thick voice, cracking through the single sound, “I got... I got the bad ending, Tsuki.” </p><p>He frowned in confusion. “Bad ending?” </p><p>You sniffed and nodded your head weakly, fluttering your eyes and coating your lashes in your tears. Even while crying, you were so beautiful to him. “Yeah. Mystic Messenger, the otome game I’ve been playing for the past month? I ended up getting the worst of Seven’s bad endings.” </p><p>It was like a glass had dropped, shattering the very air around you. Was this seriously what had been bothering you? He couldn’t believe it.</p><p>“Let me get this straight,” he levelled her with an icy gaze, pulling his hands away. “You’ve been acting strangely and you’re now crying... over a mobile game?” </p><p>You nodded emphatically, not finding an issue with your behaviour. You had been invested in Seven’s route and you wanted nothing more than to win the best ending for the hacker. You’d let him down and it tore you apart.  “Yeah. Can you hold me? I really need a hug.” </p><p>He regarded you for several long seconds, still reeling at the reasoning behind your distress. He couldn’t understand it at all. You didn’t wait for him to respond, instead quickly wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face into his chest. </p><p>You clung like a koala, not letting go even when some of the team came to investigate. Hinata, unable to mind his own business as per usual, was the first to ask the question, “what’s wrong with Y/N?” </p><p>“She’s upset about her otome game,” Tsuki answered in a tone that indicated how stupid he thought it was and was confident that his team would back him. “She got the bad end on Seven?” </p><p>Instead, it was as if the world had gone insane because Hinata actually understood. “Wait, Mystic Messenger?” </p><p>Tsuki shrugged with an incredulous expression. Just what the hell was going on? </p><p>“Kenma told me about it!” Hinata explained, as if it justified anything. “He was super bummed about Seven’s bad ending, too!” </p><p>“You’re all idiots,” Tsuki rolled his eyes. “Come on, Y/N, I’ll walk you home.” </p><p>You merely gripped at him tighter. “I’m too sad to walk!” you sobbed. Hinata nodded in understanding. </p><p>Tsuki sighed in defeat. With a little maneuvering, he pulled you away enough for him to kneel down to your level, meeting you eye to eye. “You know how you always want a piggyback ride because I’m so much taller than you?” </p><p>That did the trick. It snapped you out of your deep rooted sadness over an otome mobile game. With a squeal of delight, you wasted no time in scrambling around Tsuki’s gangly frame and securing yourself firmly to his back. </p><p>Tsuki kept a stoic face as he stood up to his full height, with you clinging on for dear life. Tsuki glared at every one of his teammates that dared look his way, challenging them to say something. Without another word, he strode out of the gym, away from their invasive ears. </p><p>With your arms around his neck and your face tucked down next to his, you gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. “The world is so high up here. How do you not get vertigo?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Hooters - Platonic!Bokuto x Reader</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>— when you’ve been best friends with someone for as long as you have been with bokuto koutarou, you develop a lot of ridiculous inside jokes</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>from a <a href="https://bnha-homeroom.tumblr.com/post/620362168345542656/weather-prompts">seasonal prompt list</a> on tumblr</p>
<p>bonfires with bokuto - an inside joke they have</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You’ve been best friends with Bokuto for as long as you can remember. You try to think of life before he was by your side and you literally can’t come up with anything. He’s just always been there.</p>
<p>Having such a long, unbreakable friendship came with its undoubtedly questionable humour. You don’t remember how half the shit you two laugh about came to be, but you know that no one else understands why you both find it utterly hilarious.</p>
<p>Perhaps the most ridiculous inside joke you have with Bokuto is also shared with Kuroo. You aren’t quite as close friends with Kuroo as you are with Bokuto, but nevertheless the three of you end up in a lot of shenanigans together. </p>
<p>Back to the joke. On the outside, it just sounds like the three of you are being vulgar, but there’s definitely a deeper meaning behind <i>“hooters”</i> that goes far beyond a questionable restaurant chain. </p>
<p>You started it, and you’re not sure if that’s taking credit or taking the blame. There are definitely days where you regret uttering the stupid word and beginning the inside joke, but more often than not you’re laughing too hard to really care how ridiculous it is.</p>
<p>The three of you had been outside at night. You don’t recall why exactly you were all outside, but it was dark, the night sky was clear and the stars were shining bright. More importantly, the full moon illuminated the night, making it easy for you to spot the owl perched in the tree.  </p>
<p>You tried to point it out to your friends, especially since a lot of your teasings to Bokuto revolved around his irrevocable love for owls, but the word for the night bird had inexplicably been erased from your brain. </p>
<p>Instead, the word your brain provided for the bird would become the stupidest inside joke you ever had the misfortune to be apart of. You had excitedly and confidently called out, “Bokuto, look! It’s a hooter!" </p>
<p>Needless to say, you were endlessly ribbed for it for a long time. Eventually, the teasing would shift to Bokuto, and it would become a trigger word that would result in the three of you breaking down into uncontrollable laughter. Kuroo especially loved to act like something was urgent, only to utter that cursed word with a shit eating grin.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Love Letters - Nishinoya x Reader</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>— youve been dating nishinoya yuu for a year today but your hope for a romantic evening was dashed when your boss held you back for overtime.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>from a <a href="https://bnha-homeroom.tumblr.com/post/620362168345542656/weather-prompts">seasonal prompt list on tumblr

bees with nishinoya - cutest thing they've done for their S/O</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You were approaching your one year anniversary with Nishinoya. You weren’t expecting anything for the day, since you were tied up with work and you’d already discussed it with Yuu and agreed to have a belated celebration on the weekend.</p><p>What you had hoped to do was finish work on time and spend the evening doing what you normally would do with Yuu, but your boss had other ideas and you ended up working overtime. By the time you had finally made it home, you were hungry, tired and in such a bad mood you barely noticed the note on the kitchen bench.</p><p>You didn’t live with your boyfriend, but he visited your apartment enough times that he had a key. And he had definitely been here, since the note was in his very distinctive scrawl.</p><p>
  <i>Hey babygirl ♡</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I wanted to be here to surprise you, but I guess you got held back at work again?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I left you a little something in the fridge :)</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I love you!</i>
</p><p>You smiled at his barely legible note, your heart warmed at the thought of him being here, waiting for you to knock off. Your phone was dead, so you couldn’t even message him yet. You put it on charge before doing as instructed, checking the fridge for the <i>little something.</i></p><p>It was your favourite winter dish, sitting nice and inviting in a container with a folded piece of paper perched on the lid. You quickly popped it into the microwave, suddenly much hungrier than before. and read the new note as you waited.</p><p>
  <i>My babygirl ♡</i>
</p><p>
  <i>First off, I didn’t cook this, so you don’t have to worry about food poisoning. Momma Suga helped me out!</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It’s probably really late now, but you should go and have a nice, hot bath after you eat this. Trust me ;)</i>
</p><p>You giggled at the thought of Suga trying to teach Yuu how to cook. It wasn’t that he was inherently bad at it, Yuu was just really impatient and lacked the focus most meals required. The man could barely stand still for five seconds, so it was a longshot for him to stand around in the kitchen for half an hour.</p><p>You briefly wondered if he meant Suga had also visited and just cooked the whole meal himself, or if Yuu had called him and had Suga try and instruct him on what to do. Either way, you really owed it to your best friend for humouring Yuu.</p><p>The meal really hit the spot; it warmed your belly and you were already feeling much more relaxed as opposed to when you first came home. Yuu’s cute little notes had definitely helped with that, too.</p><p>As per Yuu’s instruction, your next task was to take a bath. Sitting in the middle of the tub was another note, accompanied by a new bottle of bath soak. It was your favourite scent and upon closer inspection, it was the exact soak you had raved to Yuu about several weeks ago, but lamented at the price of it. It wasn’t that you couldn’t afford it, but you could be frugal when it came to luxury items, and a bath soak definitely fell under something you couldn’t quite justify spending more than you needed to on.</p><p>
  <i>Babygirl ♡</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I bet you had one hell of a day. Enjoy your new soak! It smells amazing ;)</i>
</p><p>
  <i>After this, you should probably call it a night. I don’t know what time it is, but you’ve had a big day and there’s nothing like going to bed just after a relaxing bath</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I’ll see you later ♡</i>
</p><p>You couldn’t stop yourself from shedding a few tears at the thoughtful and romantic gesture. Yuu usually fell short when it came to genuine romance because he was a silly goofball (not that it ever bothered you), but seeing all the sweet things he had just done for you filled you with overwhelming love. You would have to spoil him rotten on the weekend for this.</p><p>The soak was just what you needed. You nearly fell asleep in the tub a few times. When you dozed off and slipped below the water line, shocking yourself into sitting up coughing and spluttering, you decided that was enough bath time.</p><p>You were thoroughly relaxed despite the near death experience and it was definitely time to call it a night. You sleepily toweled yourself dry, shucking on a loose shirt that had once belonged to Yuu. You don’t remember when you had claimed it, but it was yours and there was nothing he could do to reclaim it now.</p><p>When you entered your bedroom, you damn near burst into tears.</p><p>There were candles lit everywhere, some cherry blossom petals littered around, but the most shocking thing was Yuu, sitting cross legged on your bed with a lavender rose between his teeth.</p><p>Your tears spurred him to his feet, rushing over to you with concern. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”</p><p>Your tears turned to laughter. You pulled him into a tight embrace, holding him close for several moments before pulling away only to kiss him silly. You kissed his nose, his cheeks, his mouth, his lips, not an inch of his face was safe from your onslaught of kisses.</p><p>“You’ve been here this whole time?” you accused, though the smile in your voice was impossible to mask. “Why didn’t you just come out and see me?”</p><p>He blushed furiously. “Well, I wanted it all to be a surprise, and what better surprise at the end than me?”</p><p>You laughed, pulling him in for another kiss. “We weren’t supposed to do anything today!”</p><p>He shrugged with indifference, pulling you towards the bed. “We didn’t,” he emphasised. “I did. I wanted to treat you like royalty, because that’s what you are to me.”</p><p>He didn’t give you a chance to respond. He sat you on the edge of your bed as he fell down to one knee. Your heart either spiked or stopped, you couldn’t tell because all your attention was on Yuu and the little box he pulled out. “Y/N, I know it’s only been a year, but I can’t imagine my life without you. Will you—”</p><p>“Yes!” you blurted before he could even finish, falling down on him and crashing the both of you onto the floor.</p><p>“You didn’t let me finish!” he protested through laughter.</p><p>“Answer is still yes,” you countered, showering him with even more kisses than before.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Not Happy Together - Kuroo x Reader</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>— it’s been five years since you had last seen, spoken to and broken up with kuroo tetsurou. you knew you would have to face him again one day, but you didn’t expect it to be like this.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>You’re standing in the kitchen, laughing at Akaashi’s retelling of the latest misadventure featuring Bokuto Koutarou. Your hand is halfway in the fridge, rummaging for a new beer, when you hear a voice you hadn’t heard in years, but a voice you would never not recognise. He cheerfully announces his presence at the front entrance, no doubt toeing off his shoes as he hollers for Bokuto. You can’t be sure since you pointedly do not look his way. He hasn’t noticed you, half crouched in the fridge, though he hasn’t noticed Akaashi, either. He only has eyes for the birthday boy.</p>
<p>Of course, you knew he was going to be here. He was Bokuto’s best friend, it would have been ridiculous of you to hope otherwise. You decide to grab two beers for your efforts, maintaining your composure, prompting Akaashi to continue his tale even as you gulp down an entire beer in one go. Your performance doesn’t go unnoticed by the newest company to the kitchen.</p>
<p>Kenma gives you a friendly but concerned look. “Hey,” he says gently, though there’s a lot more meaning behind the simple three letter word than just a greeting. “Nice to see you again." </p>
<p>You can’t really blow off the fact that you just downed an entire drink, nor the reasoning behind it, so you just put the empty in the sink without acknowledging it. It goes without saying, really, and you’re thankful that neither men bring it up, though you know Akaashi is going to give it to you later. </p>
<p>"Kenma!” you call out happily, a little too loud for the proximity. “I’ve missed you so much!” You pull him into a hug, one that he actually reciprocates. It isn’t a lie, you’ve missed him a whole lot, and given and they’re still roommates and Kenma doesn’t like to leave the house, it means you haven’t seen him in the same amount of time. The texting frequency between you two died down as the years went by, to the point where your last message to Kenma was three months ago. </p>
<p>“We’ve missed you, too,” Kenma responds, and you can feel him freeze in your embrace. You freeze, too. It was reflexive, he and Kenma do almost everything together, so Kenma is used to talking for the both of them. You hold onto him a little longer than strictly necessary, a little tighter, too, getting your thoughts together and schooling your face into a cheerful one before pulling away from him.</p>
<p>You’re barely given three seconds to come up with something to say when the two rambunctious men come thundering into the kitchen. They’re linked arm in arm, laughing loudly, Bokuto demanding that his best bro needs a drink. More specifically, the brand of beer that you’re also drinking.</p>
<p>Naturally, you’re the only one standing next to the fridge. All eyes are on you as you very purposefully avoid every single one and dive into the fridge, retrieving the beer, missing the way that he looks at you. In the few seconds it takes you to get the drink and pop it open, you think you’re ready to face him.</p>
<p>Passing the drink over, you lock eyes with Kuroo Tetsurou. You can’t read his expression, not like you used to, so you can’t tell if he’s happy or angry to see you. His face gives nothing away, much like your own. He takes the drink without incident, his gratitude rolling off his tongue in the form of a quick, “thanks,” before Bokuto is dragging him off again, demanding that the two start on the fire outside.</p>
<p>You look to Akaashi and Kenma helplessly. “Did that look as bad as it felt?”</p>
<p>Akaashi isn’t one to mince his words. “It wasn’t great. Are you sure you’re going to be okay?" </p>
<p>You wave him off. "Today isn’t about me, so it doesn’t matter.”</p>
<p>Akaashi and Kenma exchange an uneasy glance, before Akaashi takes charge of the conversation to ask how Kenma, and by extension, Kuroo have been. You stand there quietly, trying to not look like you’re hanging off of every word Kenma has to say. </p>
<p>–</p>
<p>Through some divine intervention, you had managed to avoid Kuroo for most of the night. It meant you hadn’t had much opportunity to speak with Bokuto, but you kept yourself busy with your other friends. Hinata had very quickly stolen Kenma away from you when he arrived, though Tsukishima had brought Yamaguchi, which was a good enough compromise. Sadly, the both of them couldn’t stay for too long, both having had long days at work and needing to be up early the next morning.</p>
<p>During the time you spent catching up with, and inevitably bidding Yamaguchi farewell, Akaashi had returned to Bokuto’s side. With Bokuto’s arm wrapped comfortably around his boyfriend, looking all the world like they belonged together, you couldn’t bring yourself to want Akaashi as your security blanket against Kuroo’s presence. </p>
<p>Things went further downhill when you found Hinata heaving in the toilet, Kenma gently rubbing circles into his back. “I think I’m going to take him home,” Kenma says to you. “Sorry, but can you please tell Kuro to find his own way home tonight?" </p>
<p>You nod stiffly, having absolutely no intention of doing that. You help Kenma guide Hinata out of the apartment, going so far as to buckle the ray of sunshine in as Kenma begrudgingly adjusts the driver’s seat for his shorter stature. Evidently, Kuroo had driven the two here.</p>
<p>"Hey,” Kenma grabs your attention before you’re able to shut the door, “don’t be a stranger, okay?”</p>
<p>You nod a little too forcefully. You probably should text him more often, but even your beer-addled brain knows he means you should visit him in person. You both know you won’t do that, though. “Drive safe,” you say instead, shutting the door as gently possible. </p>
<p>You go straight to the kitchen for more beer, knowing the remainder of the party is outside and knowing you’ll need a lot more liquid courage to face the three men with no other distractions. You pull a whole six pack from the fridge, downing one in a matter of seconds and you’re about to take the remainder outside to offer the other men one when you’re caught like a deer in headlights. </p>
<p>Kuroo’s standing in the entryway to the kitchen, looking impressed with your chug. You choke on the last mouthful in surprise, sputtering over the sink and desperately hoping it doesn’t cause a domino effect for you to start hurling. Thankfully, it doesn’t, but that doesn’t seem to stop Kuroo’s instinctual reaction to gently pat your back as you gasp for air. He steps back as soon as you compose yourself, holding his offending hand behind his neck in his tell-tale nervous posture.</p>
<p>“Thanks,” you say needlessly, like his patting had anything to do with your recovery. </p>
<p>“No problem,” he replies, just as needless. He glances at the beers on the bench, arching an eyebrow. “You weren’t about to down all of them, were you?” It’s a joke, he’s trying to lighten the mood, but it comes out a little too seriously.</p>
<p>You bite all the same. He’s trying to be normal. “I considered it,” you play along, grabbing one and popping the lid off. “I was going to pass them around,” you explain, offering it to him not unlike earlier in the evening. This time, however, it’s more like an olive branch, and you both know it. </p>
<p>Kuroo takes it with a smirk. “You might not want to go outside. The love owls are sucking face." </p>
<p>You pull a face, popping another beer and sipping at it thoughtfully. Kuroo regards you a little too intensely, but you try to ignore it. "Seen the other two lovebirds recently?" </p>
<p>You hum in affirmation. "They just left. Hinata had too much to drink, so Kenma’s taking him home.” You paused before adding, “oh, Kenma says you need to find your own way home tonight.” So much for not passing it on.</p>
<p>“Ah,” Kuroo says awkwardly, sipping at his own beer. “Bo has a spare bed, I’ll just stay the night.”</p>
<p>You’re not sure why he’s telling you this. “Good for you,” you shrug. You’re seriously considering going outside and dealing with Bokuto and Akaashi making out, it would be much more bearable than the awkward atmosphere the two of you have created.</p>
<p>Kuroo has other ideas. You can tell he’s trying to keep his mouth shut, trying to not say whatever is on his mind, but he’s fidgeting, alternating his weight from one foot to the other, his fingers dancing along the side of the glass bottle. He’s looking at you with that same intensity, although this time you have a much harder time ignoring it.</p>
<p>You decide to address the elephant in the room. “What is it, Kuroo?” You’re purposeful about saying his family name, and it doesn’t go by unnoticed. He physically winces at the name. </p>
<p>He finally looks away from you, taking a deep chug from his beer as he collects his thoughts. You have no way of knowing what he’s thinking, which you’re surprised to find that it bothers you. Once upon a time, you could read him like a book, and what you couldn’t figure out yourself, he was more than willing to share with you. </p>
<p>He chuckles when he looks back at you, at a loss for words. “You know, I’ve been dreaming for years about what I’d say to you when I finally got a chance to." </p>
<p>You nod, allowing him that. It’s fair, all things considered. "And?” you prompt.</p>
<p>He shrugs helplessly. “There’s too much to unpack, I don’t know where to start.”</p>
<p>You smile sadly at him. Again, that was fair. It wasn’t his fault how things had turned out. “Sorry.” It’s all you can offer him, all you’ll allow yourself.</p>
<p>He looks like he could damn near cry, but you know he won’t. It hurts you in a vindictive kind of way, knowing he’s so guarded with you now. He never used to be. You don’t have a right to feel hurt, to find yourself longing for the Kuroo you used to date, since this is what you had wanted. </p>
<p>“Why?” he finally asks, and it hurts you in a way nothing else could. His voice cracks on the three letters, and he clears his throat with a frustrated grunt, furrowing his brows angrily and sipping at his beer to compose himself.</p>
<p>“It’s better this way,” you find yourself saying, but you don’t believe a word of it. Neither does he, and how could he, when you can’t even convince yourself. He shoots you with a withered look and you try again, owing him that much. “We were going in different directions in life. We both deserved a better chance at happiness.”</p>
<p>It was the truth. All those years ago, you were both going to go to different colleges, at opposite ends of the continent. You knew the distance would have hurt him more than anything, and you knew he still would have done it to be with you. But, you couldn’t ask that of him, not when he deserved the world. You’d broken up with him after three years of dating, the day before you were to move across the country, without so much as a good excuse.</p>
<p>He had tried calling you for months. You had ignored him every single time. He would have sent you hundreds of text messages over the course of six months, whose contents kept you up at night wondering if you had really made the right call. At first, it had been begging. Lots and lots of begging. It eventually turned to recounts of his day, how much college was kicking him in the ass and how much he missed volleyball. It had gotten to the point where you had to beg Kenma to tell him to stop, which must have done the trick, because after that you didn’t hear a peep from Kuroo for the five years leading up to this very day.</p>
<p>“You have a weird definition of happiness,” he sulks, turning away from you to lean against the counter. “Is it really better this way?" </p>
<p>You wanted to say no, that it was very obvious you had been wrong all those years ago, but nothing could have predicted that neither of you wouldn’t have dated in that time frame. You had determined very quickly that no one was going to compare to Kuroo Tetsurou. "I guess not,” you finally say with a shrug. “It’s too late to go back and change what I did." </p>
<p>You both stand in awkward silence, the weight of your actions creating a tangible tension. It’s just as heavy when Akaashi stumbles slightly into the kitchen, with Bokuto clinging desperately to him. "Kou has had way too much to drink,” Akaashi announces. </p>
<p>Kuroo grins mischievously. “Good on him, I knew I could break him.”</p>
<p>Akaashi levels him with a stern look. “Yes, thank you very much for that, Kuroo.” He turns his gaze to you, softening as he says, “the spare bedroom is all set up for you.” There’s an unspoken apology in there, at having to leave you alone with Kuroo. Before he can properly bid the two of you goodnight, Bokuto is dragging him away. </p>
<p>Kuroo sighs. “Guess I’ll take the couch." </p>
<p>You frown at his resignation. You glance at the couch, that is not by any means big enough to fit his sheer height. He’s still incredibly bulky from all his years as a volleyball player, and no doubt he hits the gym to maintain his broad physique. Before you realise what you’re even saying, you’re blurting out, "we’re both adults, right? It’s a double bed, we’ll both fit." </p>
<p>He shakes his head, though it’s half hearted. "No, it’s fine, I'll—”</p>
<p>“I can’t even fit on that couch,” you interrupt. “Don’t be a silly kitty.” The affectionate tease falls off your tongue before you can stop yourself. You both look at each other with startled expressions, though you think yours is more horrified than anything.</p>
<p>Kuroo, to his credit, doesn’t mention it. “Are you tired?" </p>
<p>You consider before shaking your head. "Not really. Are you?”</p>
<p>“Not at all. Let’s put on a movie?”</p>
<p>– </p>
<p>You’re on opposite ends of the couch but you’re still touching. It is a terribly small couch. You’ve brought your legs up under you and you’re leaning heavily on the armrest, barely paying attention to the movie Kuroo put on. Kuroo has mindlessly thrown his arm around the back of the couch, watching the movie with far more interest than you can muster. You’re struggling to keep your eyes open, but you’re not going to be the first one to admit defeat and go to bed.</p>
<p>So, you fall asleep watching the TV. You could probably have slept there all night, except you’re being gently jostled as Kuroo very carefully picks you up, his right hand resting under your knees, in an obvious attempt to not wake you up. You could almost forget that it’s been years, that this is standard procedure, but you’re not disillusioned enough for that, though you are losing strength in maintaining your decision. </p>
<p>You stare at him wide eyed as he places you in the bed and it’s then that he notices you’re awake. He startles, blushing in embarrassment, his hand going up to clasp behind his neck. “You didn’t look comfortable,” he reasoned. “You would have woken up really sore." </p>
<p>"Thank you,” you say sincerely. He nods, avoiding your gaze, walking around to the other side of the bed and taking his place. It didn’t go unnoticed that he took his shirt off, but you already knew that he had a tendency to overheat in his sleep. He probably would have taken his pants off as well, if circumstances were different. </p>
<p>You’re now wide awake, with no hope of falling back to sleep. You shuffle over very carefully, in case Kuroo is already asleep, but you find he is just as bad as you. He quickly averts his gaze from you, staring up at the ceiling.</p>
<p>“Are you happy?” he breaks the silence, glancing over at you with such a tender expression. </p>
<p>“No,” you admit, finally accepting that things really didn’t go the way you thought they would. “Are you happy?" </p>
<p>"No,” he parrots back. “I tried, but…” he trails off.</p>
<p>“Me, too,” you nod. “Nothing will ever compare to you.” You’re not really sure why you said that part out loud. Maybe some part of you thought Kuroo deserved to know that you still thought highly of him, that without saying the exact words that he’d understand that you regretted it. </p>
<p>He shuffles so he’s lying on his side, looking at you with a burning intensity. “Why don’t we be not happy together?" </p>
<p>You actually snort at that, the chuckle pealing out of you suddenly. "You’re ridiculous." </p>
<p>"I’m serious,” he insists, looking like he wants to reach out and hold you, but he restrains himself. “It’s been how long? I’m not too proud to say I’m still hung up about you." </p>
<p>You bite your lip, hesitant. It would be so easy, like breathing. "Why would you even want to?” you say instead. “How could you trust me after what I did?" </p>
<p>Kuroo muses for a moment, rolling onto his back to return staring at the ceiling. "Well, you didn’t do it because you fell out of love with me." </p>
<p>You wince at the word. It’s heavy and full of meaning, and entirely too true. You still love him, you always have. "No,” you confirm. </p>
<p>“We’re older now,” he continues, “we know better now." </p>
<p>"Do we?” you challenge.</p>
<p>“Do you?” he counters. He smirks at your confirming nod. “Then, what’s the problem?" </p>
<p>You continue to worry at your lip. "What if I hurt you again?" </p>
<p>"You won’t,” he says confidently. “Because we’ll talk more. I didn’t talk enough to you, I should have known you had reservations about us being so far apart." </p>
<p>"Oh, no,” you snap, propping yourself up on your elbows to look down at him. “No, you are not blaming yourself." </p>
<p>He looks up at you sheepishly. "You didn’t really give me anything else, kitten, what else was I supposed to think?" </p>
<p>The pet name, uttered so easily and casually, had you flinching once again. He notices, his brows pulling up into a worried frown, and he brings his hand up to hover at your cheek. He doesn’t touch you, not without your explicit consent. His eyes stare into yours with a blazing intensity, almost overwhelming in their determination. </p>
<p>Like a moth to a flame, you tilt your head ever so slightly, so that your cheek rests against his palm, a small sigh escaping your lips. He gently runs his thumb across your cheek, his eyes never leaving yours, the fire in them continuing to entrance you.</p>
<p>"I’ve missed you,” he whispers.</p>
<p>“Me, too.”</p>
<p>“I never stopped loving you.”</p>
<p>“Me, too.”</p>
<p>“I really want to kiss you right now.”</p>
<p>“Me, too,” you repeat, like a broken record. </p>
<p>You can feel your heart in your throat as Kuroo shifts around, as he guides you down so that he is now hovering over you. He gently brushes your hair from your face, as if you were made of glass, his fingers barely skimming across your skin. He studies your face, his eyes darting around every so often, taking in your features like you were just a dream and you would disappear at the drop of a hat.</p>
<p>“I don’t think we should—”</p>
<p>“Me, too,” you agree, cutting him off when he falters. </p>
<p>With your blood pumping in your ears, deafening you to anything else, Kuroo brings himself closer. The kiss you expected on your lips doesn’t happen, instead he plants the softest kiss to your forehead. He peppers kisses all across your face, soft and tender and so unlike the Kuroo you used to know. He presses kisses along your jaw, down your neck, across your collarbones, up the other side of your neck, your jaw again, until he finally lingers at your lips. </p>
<p>“Kitten,” he breathes, holding your face in his hands as he hovers over you. </p>
<p>“Tetsurou,” you breathe back.</p>
<p>“Are you scared?” he asks, brushing his fingers across your neck as if to say he could feel your pulse. Of course, it wouldn’t surprise you, as it feels like your heart might give out at any moment. </p>
<p>“A little,” you admit. There’s so many things you’re scared of, of hurting Kuroo again, of making the wrong decision, of dooming you both to unhappiness. So many things that you can’t bring yourself to voice, because they weigh so heavily on you.</p>
<p>“Do you want me to stop?” There’s no malice in his voice, nothing to indicate that he would be anything but understanding if you said yes. He’s still hovering over you, lips mere millimetres from yours. You both already agreed you wouldn’t go further, but he’s still giving you an out. </p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>He kisses you then, languid and slow. He kisses you like he has all the time in the world, rushing absolutely nothing as he gently works your lips, molding you to him as he gets more comfortable, lays himself down next to you. His arms had begun to shudder, though you know he’s strong enough he could have maintained the posture for much longer. </p>
<p>He’s still kissing you tenderly, but now his hand runs down your neck, down your shoulder and arm, to rest on the curve of your waist. He doesn’t deepen the kiss, and it’s driving you mad, so you take matters into your own hands and you kiss him harder. You bring your own hands up into his messy hair and you nip at his lip. You can feel him smiling as you try and nibble at his lip, but he keeps you at bay, keeps you from biting at him with bruising force.</p>
<p>“Easy, kitten,” he chuckles, petting your hair as he pulls away. It isn’t for long, but instead of kissing you again, he pulls you into a hug that’s almost too tight. He buries his face into your neck as he clings to you, breathing in your scent in ragged breaths and you realise entirely too late that he’s crying.</p>
<p>You bring your arms up to rub circles into his back, humming gently in his ear in an old tune you haven’t sung since you broke up with him. It was your song, the song he had picked out for your first date, and it makes the man break even more in your arms. You’re not sure why the tune came to you now, but you don’t stop even as Kuroo loses himself to progressively louder sobs. You let him have this, let him cry out five years of uncertainty, five years of wondering why you did what you did, of wondering if he just hadn’t been good enough, of wondering what he could have done. </p>
<p>He cries himself out, falling silent and his grip loosening, but he doesn’t pull away from you just yet. When he does finally emerge from your neck, it’s with a bright smile despite the tear stains down his cheeks and his red rimmed eyes. “Are we okay?" </p>
<p>You tear up at just how happy he looks, even with your neck drenched in his tears. "We’re okay,” you nod, reaching over to place a chaste kiss to his lips.</p>
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